Tuesday, February 17, 2009

If Old Flames Aren't Hot, Can They Still Burn You?

Last summer Commish and I were wandering around a street fair when I ran into a sort-of ex from college. It was pretty surprising because (a) she lives in NY (or so I thought - she had just moved to the Midwest) and (b) I had neither seen nor thought about her in at least 10 years. We exchanged small talk for about five minutes and went our separate ways. A few Thursdays later Commish asks "If you run into an ex-girlfriend, do you tell your spouse?"

Doc asked "Alright Commish, which one of your many exes was it?"

"Wasn't me - it was TNH Guy. And before we ask him if he did tell his wife, I want to know what you guys would do."

T.S. went first. "I need some more details before I answer. You guys only talked for a few minutes. Exchange digits? Did you make plans to get together for lunch or something like that?

"Nope. Well I got her cell number. She didn't get mine, we didn't make plans and to tell you the truth I didn't even think about it until Commish brought it up tonight."

"I can't believe you didn't make plans to get together," T.S. offered.

Commish interrupted, "That's another issue. But to the first one. Nap, you run into an old flame you haven't seen in 10 years. Do you tell your spouse?"

"Nope," Nap replied. "Why go there? You had your moment to play catch up. Leave it that."

T.S. spoke up again. "I'd say its a definite maybe. I don't think I'd bring it up out of the blue, but if for some reason it made sense in some conversation, yeah, I'd tell my wife I ran into her."

Doc chimed in. "I'll keep this progression moving. I'd tell my wife. What the hell? I don't think she'd be pissed. It would be an interesting conversation."

Nap: "It would be interesting alright. You'd end up on the couch."

"Why? It's not like I did something wrong," replied Doc.

"Did you run into your old flame?"


"Then you did something wrong. Next time run into your handyman."

Commish cracked up. "Okay TNH Guy, it happened to you. Did you tell your wife?"

"Sort of. I mentioned that I ran into a woman I went to college with and hadn't seen in ten years, but left it at that. We weren't that serious in school. Besides, I'm with Nap. Why go down that road?"

"But," said T.S., "let's get to the real issue. Did you make plans to get together?"

"Nope. I thought about it, but don't see what good it would do to spark up an old flame. It can't really go anywhere good."

"I don't know," responded Commish. "If I once had feelings for this girl - like she was my first real love - I'd sure be interested in reconnecting and finding out what happened to her."

"I guess that kind of happened enough in that 5 minute conversation," I replied. "Besides, she wasn't the one that got away.  In fact, she hardly happened at all, at least not enough for this college junior! Anyway, T.S., you brought it up, what would you do."

"I'm with you Commish. I'm not sure where its going, but I'd be interested in reconnecting. In fact, last year I ran into this girl from high school who I had a pretty big crush on back in the day. We grabbed a bite to eat, found out what was what and who was who. It was fun for an hour or two. Wasn't much interest in staying connected after that. But I'd probably do it again should I run into one of my numerous other lady friends running around out there."

Well, I never called her again; haven't really thought about her since then. As for the other guys, I'm pretty sure they all went home and googled their college exes that night. Would you have told your spouse if you ran into an ex?

1 comment:

Doug Levin said...

I'd get her number, make plans to get together with her, tell my wife, and - if she's any good - invite her into a threesome.

Seriously, as long as she's not psycho, I'd make plans to get together with her, but with my wife. My wife and I know all about our old flames - there's no secrets.