Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Open Door Sex

T.S. started off this week’s issues. “My whole family dynamic changed this weekend. The wife and I were having sex Saturday night when we heard one of the kids’ bedroom doors open. We stopped, and a few seconds later we heard the door close. I’m not really sure if they saw or heard us, but that’s not the issue anyway. The issue is this – when you’re having sex is your bedroom door open or closed? And if its closed, is locked or unlocked?”

Nap gave T.S. a look of pity mixed with horror. “My friend, you are wise to ignore the kids the next day on this one. Best to act as if it never happened. Of course, I’m guessing that after that it didn’t happen!”

Doc cracked up. “Its okay T.S., we’ve all been there, at least those of us who keep the door open. I’m one of those. Whenever I get lucky enough to get it I’m not worried about details like the door. I’m just focused on getting it.”

El Guapo chimed in. “Interesting Doc. See, I would have thought that if you weren’t getting it too often that on the actual blessed occasion you would make sure that there were no interruptions like poor T.S. suffered. While I wouldn’t say that I’m limited to a few lucky instances throughout the year, I still want to make sure that its all systems go from take-off to mission accomplished.”

Commish: “So you’re closing the door?”

“Closed, locked, dead-bolted and moving the dresser in front of it. For those 2 minutes and 47 seconds, I have no kids.”

Commish, laughing out loud: “Well there you have it folks. Any comments?”

TNH Guy spoke up. “Well, I would think it matters how old the kids are. Mine are too young to know what they’re walking in on. But in general I’m with El Guapo – I don’t want to know that the kids are in the house then. Of course, I don’t need to turn my room into Fort Knox in order to do that. Door generally closed will suffice.”

Nap: “My kids are older. They’d know what they were walking in on. Of course, they’re probably more scared of us walking in on one of them with their girlfriend. I’m keeping the door closed.

Commish: “So here’s an x-factor. Do you normally sleep with the door closed? Especially if you have older kids. Because if not, and its closed on Saturday night, they know what’s up.”

Nap: “We normally sleep with the door closed. On Saturday nights we tie a sock around the doorknob so they definitely know what’s up!!”

Commish: “Okay, so ____ and I usually sleep with the door open. More often then not its closed during sex, but there’s no rule. And we usually don’t lock it. I guess the bottom line, T.S., is that it could have happened to any of us. Except El Guapo, who only has sex in Fort Knox.

(Is your door open, closed or welded shut? Answer the poll on the right!)


Anonymous said...

Our door is closed *and* locked because we do not want to traumatize the kids. We had one close call where our daughter nearly walked in on us and from then on we lock the door.

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