Sides of the Bed

Commish: So do you and your significant other always sleep on the same sides of the bed?
Trump: Definitely
Trafe: I guess that's true
Gump: I'd say it's a doctrine
Utz: A doctrine already?
Trump: I deserve a doctrine already - Are you in?
Utz: Well, if you deserve it, then I'm in
Artie: I suppose I'm in as well - but then again, I'm not so sure, especially when we're somewhere other than home
Comm: You're intruding on my follow up
Artie: Point momentarily withdrawn
Comm: So that's the follow up - How about at a hotel?
Artie: As I was saying, I'm not what we do when we're at a hotel
Trump: We're definitely the same whether we're home, at a hotel, or whatever
Utz: Will you sleep the same at home? Yes, we sleep the same at home - even if you're all alone? Even if I'm all alone
Gump: And sleep the same when out as well? Even in a bad hotel?
Trump: If it isn't Green Utz and Gump - Let's hear what you losers have to say
Utz: I'm Loser #1, and I say we also sleep on the same sides in a hotel
Gump: I'm Loser #2, and I agree with Loser #1
Trafe: I've been thinking about it, and I realized that I have a different answer - that is, wherever we are my wife sleeps on the side closest to the door
Gump: And why is that?
Trafe: I think it's out of habit having to do with responding to the kids
Comm: I just wanted you guys to know the reason behind me bringing this up - that is, my girlfriend and I sleep on different sides of the bed depending on whether we sleep at her house or mine - whoever's at home gets to pick their side of choice, and we each usually sleep on the same side - which brings me to the final part of this issue - Do you start on different sides for sexual purposes?
Trafe: What's your point?
Comm: My point is that sleeping on different sides of the bed at each other's house adds a bit to the sexual experience for me - it's a little different, you know?
Trump: But you asked your prior questions, and almost everyone said that they always sleep on the same side of the bed - so what makes you think you'll get different answers to this question?
Comm: Maybe I won't
Trump: Okay, I'll start and I'm sticking with the same answer and the same sides of the bed
Utz: Not so fast there, old man - for sexual purposes we start wherever on the bed we might be and go from there
Trump: Calm down there, spry youngster
Trafe: I have to say that I'm with Utz on this one
Gump: I'd say it's a doctrine
Artie: The plot thickens - count me in as well
Trump: I guess it was worth asking the question
Utz: At the very least just to give me a doctrine
Comm: Time to go home and get things started from whatever side of the bed
Gump: And don't forget that Jessie the waitress encouraged us to wake up your woman if she's asleep
Trafe: Someone call Gump tomorrow to make sure that he survived the night