Sunday, January 4, 2009

Sides of the Bed

Commish: So do you and your significant other always sleep on the same sides of the bed?
Trump: Definitely
Trafe: I guess that's true
Gump: I'd say it's a doctrine
Utz: A doctrine already?
Trump: I deserve a doctrine already - Are you in?
Utz: Well, if you deserve it, then I'm in
Artie: I suppose I'm in as well - but then again, I'm not so sure, especially when we're somewhere other than home
Comm: You're intruding on my follow up
Artie: Point momentarily withdrawn
Comm: So that's the follow up - How about at a hotel?
Artie: As I was saying, I'm not what we do when we're at a hotel
Trump: We're definitely the same whether we're home, at a hotel, or whatever
Utz: Will you sleep the same at home? Yes, we sleep the same at home - even if you're all alone? Even if I'm all alone
Gump: And sleep the same when out as well? Even in a bad hotel?
Trump: If it isn't Green Utz and Gump - Let's hear what you losers have to say
Utz: I'm Loser #1, and I say we also sleep on the same sides in a hotel
Gump: I'm Loser #2, and I agree with Loser #1
Trafe: I've been thinking about it, and I realized that I have a different answer - that is, wherever we are my wife sleeps on the side closest to the door
Gump: And why is that?
Trafe: I think it's out of habit having to do with responding to the kids
Comm: I just wanted you guys to know the reason behind me bringing this up - that is, my girlfriend and I sleep on different sides of the bed depending on whether we sleep at her house or mine - whoever's at home gets to pick their side of choice, and we each usually sleep on the same side - which brings me to the final part of this issue - Do you start on different sides for sexual purposes?
Trafe: What's your point?
Comm: My point is that sleeping on different sides of the bed at each other's house adds a bit to the sexual experience for me - it's a little different, you know?
Trump: But you asked your prior questions, and almost everyone said that they always sleep on the same side of the bed - so what makes you think you'll get different answers to this question?
Comm: Maybe I won't
Trump: Okay, I'll start and I'm sticking with the same answer and the same sides of the bed
Utz: Not so fast there, old man - for sexual purposes we start wherever on the bed we might be and go from there
Trump: Calm down there, spry youngster
Trafe: I have to say that I'm with Utz on this one
Gump: I'd say it's a doctrine
Artie: The plot thickens - count me in as well
Trump: I guess it was worth asking the question
Utz: At the very least just to give me a doctrine
Comm: Time to go home and get things started from whatever side of the bed
Gump: And don't forget that Jessie the waitress encouraged us to wake up your woman if she's asleep
Trafe: Someone call Gump tomorrow to make sure that he survived the night


Wookie of Year said...

I think I was part of this conversation, but am not sure anymore. Meanwhile, I am trying to access the other side of the bed. Will let you know as soon as I get there.

Anonymous said...

We always sleep on our respective sides of the bed... It just seems natural. Everyone has a side they prefer... did you ever notice when you are away on a business trip that you still sleep on one side of the bed and not exactly in the middle of the bed?

What is more important, is which side do you do the nasty? Does one or the other always get stuck with the wet spot?