Sides of the Bed

Commish: So do you and your significant other always sleep on the same sides of the bed?
Trump: Definitely
Trafe: I guess that's true
Gump: I'd say it's a doctrine
Utz: A doctrine already?
Trump: I deserve a doctrine already - Are you in?
Utz: Well, if you deserve it, then I'm in
Artie: I suppose I'm in as well - but then again, I'm not so sure, especially when we're somewhere other than home
Comm: You're intruding on my follow up
Artie: Point momentarily withdrawn
Comm: So that's the follow up - How about at a hotel?
Artie: As I was saying, I'm not what we do when we're at a hotel
Trump: We're definitely the same whether we're home, at a hotel, or whatever
Utz: Will you sleep the same at home? Yes, we sleep the same at home - even if you're all alone? Even if I'm all alone
Gump: And sleep the same when out as well? Even in a bad hotel?
Trump: If it isn't Green Utz and Gump - Let's hear what you losers have to say
Utz: I'm Loser #1, and I say we also sleep on the same sides in a hotel
Gump: I'm Loser #2, and I agree with Loser #1
Trafe: I've been thinking about it, and I realized that I have a different answer - that is, wherever we are my wife sleeps on the side closest to the door
Gump: And why is that?
Trafe: I think it's out of habit having to do with responding to the kids
Comm: I just wanted you guys to know the reason behind me bringing this up - that is, my girlfriend and I sleep on different sides of the bed depending on whether we sleep at her house or mine - whoever's at home gets to pick their side of choice, and we each usually sleep on the same side - which brings me to the final part of this issue - Do you start on different sides for sexual purposes?
Trafe: What's your point?
Comm: My point is that sleeping on different sides of the bed at each other's house adds a bit to the sexual experience for me - it's a little different, you know?
Trump: But you asked your prior questions, and almost everyone said that they always sleep on the same side of the bed - so what makes you think you'll get different answers to this question?
Comm: Maybe I won't
Trump: Okay, I'll start and I'm sticking with the same answer and the same sides of the bed
Utz: Not so fast there, old man - for sexual purposes we start wherever on the bed we might be and go from there
Trump: Calm down there, spry youngster
Trafe: I have to say that I'm with Utz on this one
Gump: I'd say it's a doctrine
Artie: The plot thickens - count me in as well
Trump: I guess it was worth asking the question
Utz: At the very least just to give me a doctrine
Comm: Time to go home and get things started from whatever side of the bed
Gump: And don't forget that Jessie the waitress encouraged us to wake up your woman if she's asleep
Trafe: Someone call Gump tomorrow to make sure that he survived the night

What I Learned From Last Week's Issues

1) Cash is king - and, in this market, if you can't sell your house immediately and you have a rental possibility, go for the rental

2) There's a certain sexual allure to the woman who is the First Lady

3) Going to visit somewhere you lived previously, or having someone who lived previously in your current abode come to visit you, is a good thing (note: listen to the Jackson Browne song "Looking Into You" for more on this) - same for visiting a place where you used to work

All But One

Survey question - Do you and your significant other have an active sex life?
Table - All but one claimed yes

One Parent Secrets

Should children be allowed to tell secrets to one parent only?
Trafe is concerned - feeling a bit left out as his daughter has shared some secrets with his spouse and not with him - some being female-related - that he found out later only accidentally by other means as both spouse and daughter kept the secrets tightly wrapped
Artie cannot understand how the secrets could be kept - claims he and his wife discuss everything
Utz wants to know the last time Artie and spouse discussed something significant about the kids, but Artie doesn't hear him
Gump says let it be - nothing wrong with some things being told to one parent or the other - can even add to special relationship between that child and parent
Utz wants to know if any of Gump's children has told him a secret - Gump says no
Trump says that his spouse passes such secrets on to him
Utz wants to know the last time Trump's spouse passed a secret on to him - Trump can't remember
Trafe is still forlorn - wants to be included in family decisions
Gump says don't push it - a few small secrets aren't hurting anything
Utz says push for the big secrets - when decisions have to be made - Utz has a doctrine for all except Artie, who's still talking about pushing for all secrets
Trump's going to ask spouse if he's missed any new secrets

Investment Advice

Your friends at Thursday Night Hoops perform many valuable services - one such service is giving investment advice, especially in these tough economic times - here's the issue:
"I have some monies invested in mutual funds (okay, some might be overstating it - it was a little and now it's puchhh) - I have continued to hold these mutual fund shares - assuming/hoping that the market will start going back up, should I continue to hold these shares, or should I sell them off and invest in individual stocks such as Citigroup that have the potential to rise faster and more substantially?"
Answer from the group - continue to hold the mutual fund shares unless you have the time needed to seriously look into and follow individual stocks (i.e. to become a "day trader") - while the individual stocks have the potential to rise faster and more substantially, they also have the potential to do the opposite - this especially holds if the monies involved are needed in your investment portfolio - however, if these monies are expendable, then taking a flyer on some individual stocks is perhaps a venture worth taking (sort of like the few hundred dollars that you take to a casino having dealt with the fact that you could easily lose it)